Diamonds on a Dusty Road

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Come January next year, I will have lived twenty-eight years with a  disabling condition known as  Cerebral Palsy. Each time I am asked to speak or write about my life, I tend to gain a totally different perspective of my story. More of looking at an old family photo that has hanged on the wall for ages and seeing something you didn’t see before. Why diamonds on a dusty road? I guess for the reason that my life journey has been on a dusty path that I have trudged on and somewhere recollected myself in the process. I share my story with the hope that irrespective of the path you’re walking along, there is value in the process of your becoming.

Gods grace redeems all our wounds. My brain was starved of sufficient amounts of Oxygen during my birth and thus I became permanently wounded. How I speak, or walk, or shake somebody’s hand when greeting, points to the fact that something is amiss inside me. These impairments notwithstanding I hold a Bachelors of Education degree from Kenyatta University and I recently got a job at Senator Mike Mbuvi’s office. Often along this road, my heart gets wounded and sometimes the wounds run so deep that I a Bible believing Christian, finds it hard to believe that anything good will come out of my emotional hurt and suffering. But when I remember how much His grace has enabled me to achieve despite my wounded brain, I reckon that with God there are no irredeemable wounds.

Patience is the genius.  I  can never thank my parents enough for taking me to church and encouraging me to memorize  Scripture.  Galatians  5:22-23  is one of the Scriptures that I memorized while in Sunday school. It lists the fruits of the Holy Spirit of which is patience. Life has taught me to be patient. I completed my under- graduate course in April 2011 and got a job in June 2015. Within that period I successfully appealed to the university’s  authorities  to  be  allowed  to  take special exams free of charge, I drafted a children’s story book, I volunteered at a primary school, I interned with the Youth Enterprise  Development  Fund, and I even got elected as the treasurer of Kenya National Commission for UNESCO Youth Forum. Acclaimed Bible teacher, Joyce Meyer, once said ―Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting‖. Patience is the genius which solves most of the life’s mysteries and oh that my prayer through the rest of my life may be for patience, more patience

“Alone” and “Lonely” have different meanings.

I attended regular schools during my primary school years and I sometimes did things a bit differently from my classmates.  Poor muscle  coordination impedes  the pace at which I write thus often my classmates would complete their  assignments much  faster than  I  did. Also, during playtime, I sometimes had to sit a safe distance away from my classmates and watch them play games that were too physically demanding for me. Remarkably, my aloneness in my affliction with Cerebral Palsy did not make me a lonely, little girl; I had many friends. Now that I’m all grown up I’ve realized that there will be many instances when it will take me longer to accomplish as much as my peers and that at other times I will find myself watching from a distance as my peers make great strides in their lives. May the wisdom which kept my younger self from wallowing in self-pity and loneliness preserve me through my adult years.

Since we do not choose the family we are born in, one may imagine that we Had been granted the chance we would have chosen a perfect family, right? Wrong. There are no perfect families because families comprise imperfect people. As implied earlier, I hail from a strong Christian family but I would be lying if I claimed that I do not occasionally have highly charged confrontations with either my parents or my brothers. In retrospect, one mistake I made in my early twenties was resenting my nearest and dearest for not loving me in the manner that I felt they should. As Jim Butcher put it, There is nothing that makes you more insane than family. Or happier. Or more exasperated. Or more…secure. In the future, distance and death may hinder my relationships with those whom I share a blood not with but may my soul find kindred souls with whom I can make a family with.