In the halls of our Parliament, leaders are currently debating the Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) Bill 2022. They are discussing the legalities of surrogacy, the regulation of clinics, and the definition of parental rights. For many, this is a technical debate. For me, and for many other women, it is a conversation about the very essence of our autonomy. It is an acknowledgment that our paths to motherhood are diverse, valid, and deeply personal.
But long before these modern laws were drafted, my ancestors had already created a way. In my Maasai culture, motherhood has never been a solitary biological act; it is a communal tapestry. We have always known that while biology starts a life, it is love, family agreement, and commitment that make a mother.
A Legacy of Strength
My journey began in a humble pastoralist home. At three years old, life “chose” me when polio affected my right leg. I was vaccinated, yet I became part of that small percentage for whom the world would look a little different. I grew up navigating rural terrains with resilience, eventually finding my way to Maasai Mara University to earn my degree in Human Resource Management.
My greatest teacher, however, was my mother, Moonga. After my father passed away when we were very young, she raised eight of us six girls and two boys with a heart that knew no boundaries. I watched her embrace adoption within our own family long before it became my reality. She adopted our younger brother, and my younger sister later adopted a child from our last-born sibling. From Moonga, I learned that a mother is simply a woman who says “yes” to the responsibility of a soul.
The Interaction of My Body and My Dreams
In 2023, my life slowed down. A diagnosis of a severe nerve illness brought me face-to-face with the physical realities of my disability. As I went through therapy, I had to be honest with myself. I loved children, but I looked at the prospect of a nine-month pregnancy—the weight on my calipers, the strain on my nerves, the uncertainty of my recovery—and I felt a different calling.
I sat with my mother for long, soulful conversations. I told her my heart wanted a child, but my body needed a different path. She didn’t blink. She reminded me that in our Maasai tradition, adoption is a sacred way to support those facing fertility or health hurdles. She explained the cultural process: the symbolic exchange of a calf,or four goats and a male sheep to seal the bond of kinship.
The Birth of My Son
I told my family I was ready to raise a son. My sister-in-law, who had been my primary caregiver while I was sick, was pregnant at the time. We made a pact: if the baby was a boy, he would be mine. When the call came from the delivery room, the message was clear: “God has answered your prayers.”
For two years, I have been his mother. While he has remained with his biological mother for breastfeeding, I have been there for every milestone, every visit, and every breath of his growth. In a few weeks, as he turns two, he will officially move into my home. Our bond wasn’t formed in a hospital ward; it was forged in prayer, cultural honor, and a choice that sits deeper than DNA.
My Manifesto to My Sisters
As I prepare to host a “Welcome to Motherhood” shower, a celebration of my own choosing,I want to speak directly to my fellow women with disabilities.
You are the expert of your own life. You have the absolute right to autonomy over your reproductive health. If your body is strong and your choice is to carry a pregnancy, do so with boldness and pride. But if, like me, you choose a different path, be it surrogacy, IVF, or the beauty of cultural adoption, know that your motherhood is no less “real.”
We are not just stories; we are women making informed, powerful decisions about our futures. Whether you have the money for modern technology or the cultural support of your kin, choose the path that honors your health and your heart.
Motherhood is not defined by how a child arrives, but by the woman who stands ready to lead them. I chose my path. I hope you find the courage to choose yours.
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Very inspiring